Empathize

hullo.. ying randomly dropped by.

why is this blog still existing anyway.

Still heartbroken.

How I wish I could see her eyes staring straight in to mine over the candle light dinner, talking about the good and bad times we had together. Nevertheless, the world is everchanging, into a 'netherworld', swarmed with negative elements which constantly deprive me of my concentration to do so. This 'netherworld', some might call it the formations of gangsterism, riots and wars, while others, who most seemingly the old aged call it the evolution of tradition, fashion and morale of the young generation which decay rapidly becoming none other than the clods of Indah Water. There are also the old-fashioned who call it the development of technology which consists of the advancements of robotic assistance such as the computer which dilapidates the human intellect in a certain manner. But I call it My School Life. In this chapter of 'Nearing the SPM Season', I explain the life of myself, surviving the threat of an intimidating force of assasins, my parents. It all comes down to obedience, discipline, hardwork and empathy upon getting past the lectures and screwing. But somehow, I still can't seem to obtain peace at mind gathering my inner strengths to fulfill those necessities to gain rewards like having a little more freedom. Nothing's like an outing with her even if it's just for an hour or two. As I struggle to satisfy my parents' aspirations, I often find a matter to blame all my sorrows and frustration on and however hard i try not to, My negative personality still leads me back to that same point. Her. She always invites me out just for some fun and calls me to hear my 'sweet' voice. I tell her not to set me aside from my concentration moreover at least motivate me to do my work and pass with flying colours. Well, she does, but as usual, I put all the blame on her claiming that she appears to be one of my obligations that I have to attend to. Talking about taking for granted, When she's off for a holiday on Saturday and she says she's coming back on monday, she tells me that she has to delay her return until tuesday. And on Tuesday, she tells me that her mother, whom would be arriving in Singapore is late and would like her to wait for her mother's presence but her mother happened to have some problems would not be able to reach there on Tuesday, but on the next day. So I was waiting anxiously to see her on Wednesday because she pushed it quite far and I was getting worried that we wouldn't be able to spend time together during the school holidays which was the best time. And so i waited....and waited....and waited...till 11.59pm.... and the clock strikes 12. It's Thursday. What's happening? Why is she always like this? Getting me irritated and annoyed waiting for her....

I felt darkness blanketing my hope. I felt sorrow coming down my shoulders. I felt happiness leaving me. I felt like dying.

But a tender voice sounded at the back of my mind. "We've gone this far. Don't break it. I won't." The faint memory of a red piece of paper which seems to have been unfolded many times had entered the mainstream of my   thoughts. I closed my eyes and glanced to the bottom right corner of the red paper in my mind and i caught a glimpse of some characters forming "- Ying 2.7," It was a message presented along with a valentine's gift from a very sweet girl. One who gave me love, cared for me, brought me up when i was down, and lifted my sorrows as i shared many unforgettable moments with her. My head felt relieved again. I had regained my hope and trust for her.  It wasn't her fault this time anyway...I had no reason to give up on my beloved. I had no reason to give up on hope. I had no reason to cease my living.

So here I am, writing some meaningless blog, wasting my time and consuming my patience, all just to obtain a significant and miserable achievement. For her.

-jomi-